I GET KNOCKED DOWN...BUT I GET UP AGAIN

An amazing thing happened to me during worship service yesterday.

The Holy Spirit ministered to me...and not a soul had to lay hands on me, pray for me, shake me, stir me or push me to the floor. GOD JUST WANTED TO TALK TO ME! Fortunately, I was there to hear from Him!

"What did He say?" you ask? Well, before I go there, I want to offer this scripture for your meditation:
...for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity. Proverbs 24:16 NIV

I have made a lot of mistakes. BIG ONES. I have embarrassed myself, my family, my church. It has not been a seamless, charmed life for me. Most of that is my fault, as I tend to wander down paths I have no business being on in the first place.

My last post was about how we have to go through the process of inner healing-emotional and spiritual healing-because of the things we have been exposed to throughout our lives. I also talked about the reaction of "the church world" to the news of yet another "superstar" minister tripping up and losing his footing. The response of laypeople and leadership has been mixed. But that is just a broad perspective of a more individual situation.

What I want to address in this post are YOUR trip-ups and ventures down slippery slopes of compromise and trouble. (Mine, too...) Not the fact that they have happened, but the fact that we are all exposed to the scrutiny and the judgements of others, whether we want to be or not. This is not something that happens only to leaders and those whose faces grace the pages of Charisma and Ministry Today. Harsh judgements and harmful proclamations begin at a very young age for most of us. I haven't met many believers who haven't had to fight their way out of a morass of untruths and falsehoods that they have believed about themselves for years. Most of these "word curses" come from those closest to us. They often believe their criticism and cuts are good for us, will make us stronger, sharper, and generally better people.

THEY COULD NOT BE MORE MISTAKEN!

Let me begin where God began with me yesterday.

As I stood among those who had come forward for prayer, my goal wasn't anything specific. I had only come to receive whatever God had in store for me. (You should try that sometime...it's very enlightening...) I stood listening to the worship team singing, watching others as they wept and prayed- I simply waited. There was no bolt of lightning from the blue, but God had been whispering to me for a few minutes. Over and over I kept hearing Him say, "Pursue Your Passion!"

As the inner dialogue continued, I asked Him, "How can I do that? What do You mean? I am passionate about my son, Your son, writing, music, my relationships...what are You saying to me?" Again, all the more insistent, "Pursue Your Passion!" "How?" I asked again. "Don't worry about the 'how'. You let ME take care of that!" He answered. I stood quietly contemplating what the Holy Spirit had said. Then, suddenly, I heard something that struck me to the center of my being. I promise you, Beloved, I am not exaggerating. It hit something in me I didn't even know was there!

"Jennifer, you have NEVER been a disappointment to Me." I instantly knew the voice of My Father, God. He was touching a place in me, a wounded, scarred place whose time to heal had finally come. I broke. Tears began to flood my eyes and roll down my face and I felt like I couldn't breathe. How could He possibly say that, knowing all I had done and all I hadn't done!?! He continued, "Every time you have fallen, you have gotten back up, and you've always come back to me. How could I be disappointed in that?" His words were so gentle and so pointed...laser-accurate. "You have always felt you were such a disappointment to everyone around you, and you may have been to them. But you have NEVER been a disappointment to me. NEVER!"

I realized at that moment that the reason I had never pursued my passion, was simply because I was so afraid that I would disappoint everyone around me if I failed. I had played the "safe" card all my life! I never would have believed it, even if my best friend had told me that. But to hear my Father say those words, it was as if cobwebs were cleared out and someone opened a window in a dark, dank room! Light streamed in and I realized the fear of disappointing "them" again was more than I cared to deal with, more than I could handle. I had messed up soooo many times already! I didn't want to put them, or myself through it all again! And really, that was the crux of the issue: I had disappointed myself so much I no longer believed in what God had placed in me. I no longer believed in what He had created me to be, or in His plans for me. After you make so many stupid decisions, you tend to just give up on yourself. Nobody else has to do it, you do it to yourself! (Or at least I had!)

That was the hardest part of this to come to terms with; I had given up on me! I literally sobbed at the realization! The Holy Spirit then spoke to me something I believe we all need to hear.

The seeds of OUR PERSONAL PASSIONS were placed in us as children by our Heavenly Father. Through the years, they have been covered over by the debris and bad soil of the harsh words, judgements, criticisms and verbal onslaughts of people around us; especially those we are closest to, who live with us day in and day out!

As children, we are ill-equipped to filter out the untruths and the painful results of those words. In some cases, it wasn't what was said, it was what went unsaid! It was indifference and distance between us and those we loved and admired most. It wasn't necessarily WORDS, but also attitudes and actions pointed toward us! Those are difficult things to get over! We have to allow the Holy Spirit access to those places so that we can be 'deprogrammed' from the viral words and attitudes we've experienced and allow Abba to come in and reprogram us with words of LIFE and TRUTH!

There are some of you who have longed to do so much more for the Kingdom of God,yet you never feel "qualified". Beloved, Jesus Christ qualified you for Kingdom work when He died on Calvary. His blood is the only qualification you need to do whatever it is God birthed in you at that young age. Some of you know what I'm talking about. Others of you have so distanced yourselves from the pain of your youth you can hardly remember any of it. God has His own schedule. He will deal with your hurts and pains in a timely manner, but your part is to trust Him and ALLOW Him to do that. He's not going to come in and tear up Jack in your soul, Beloved! That is NOT His way, at all!

Remember, He is the Gentle Shepherd and He knows that sheep are skittish by nature. He will slowly pull the debris away from those seeds planted so long ago, gently cultivate and fertilize the soil of your heart and the tears you shed will water those dreams until they blossom into the beautiful thing He had in mind for you all along!

Those words will be with me for eternity, I'm sure. To hear Him say He is not disappointed in me trumps everything I have heard to the contrary. Because I am his sheep and I know His voice, I know He was telling me it's time to lay aside that particular excuse (which I didn't even know was there!). He needs me to pursue my passion. Apparently, He has need of it! WOW!

So what of the scripture I offered you?

We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, according to the Apostle Paul. The word 'falls' in this particular scripture means "to be knocked out" (like a boxer).
Lots of people have tried to knock us out, Beloved, but God is reaching out to you and to me saying, "Come on. You have to get back up and go at it again." He is there to coach us, to guide us and to teach us His ways. Even if we have been knocked out time after time, He never tires of helping us back up, if only we will reach for Him.

He is waiting for you. He needs you, Beloved. He needs us all. Know the truth about yourself through God's eyes. Ask Him to show you that. The best place to start is at the foot of Calvary's cross. You were worth the life of an innocent man. You were worth the time and energy of God's own son. Start there, let him reveal the rest to you.

You're gonna like what you see!

Jennifer Barnes
UPLIFT! Today Editor

"Before You Accuse Me..."

I suppose there are Believers out there who will try to crucify him over this. He isn't the first and he won't be the last...I'm talking about Lakeland Outpouring leader, Todd Bentley. Todd and his wife, Shonnah announced their separation this week. I don't know them personally, and have never even heard Todd Bentley speak so I won't attempt to dissect anything here. That's not why I'm posting this week. I'm posting because it's about time the church gets its head out of the sand.

Please, if you stopped in here to read another blog blasting this man and his ministry, I want you to quit reading. This will not be that blog. You can go elsewhere for the Armchair Quarterback reports. There are a plethora of them out there. The only thing I have to say is this: This is the 21st century and the church needs to start dealing with 21st century problems in a 21st century way which exemplifies God's way of dealing with failures and faults. It has to line up with the Word, always.

In the last 2 years the Pentecostal/Charismatic/Evangelical sector of Christianity has taken some powerful blows. Leaders in pivotal positions have seen their personal lives crumble, even as their ministries seemingly soar to fantastic heights. Deep fissures have been exposed within the inner workings of these ministries. Lives are publicly falling apart in front of churches, communities and the world. The intense pressure and scrutiny these men and women find themselves under is often terminal. The very ones who used to rescue the perishing are often buried alive.

Last week, I wrote about 'the lost'. That's Christianese for those who are not personally and intimately in relationship with Jesus Christ. I wrote about imperfect people who come to our churches looking for love, acceptance and help with their issues. I made the statement that none of us came to God with our lives all nice and tidy...we came broken, bruised and a mess.

Unfortunately, there are those among us who forget that even after we come to Christ, we still have issues in our lives for which we must receive healing. That healing isn't always instantaneous,especially from long-term emotional wounds. Years of abuse, addiction, and plain old sin cause us to react and cope in unbiblical ways. These are ways of relating to others that developed long before we came into our relationship with God. Turning our lives over to him for restoration and healing is a lifelong process. The old timers call it "sanctification".

Sanctification is quite simply the laying down of habitual, ungodly behaviors and attitudes that we became attached to (or that attached themselves to us) before we came to Christ. It is a process that God continuously works within His people. However, that process can be stalled or even terminated by us if we refuse to deal with the old issues and wrong beliefs we have.

I have a saying: You can only be healed to the degree that you yield. It is the gospel truth. You cannot receive healing in areas of your heart that you are not willing to expose to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to strip down, then rebuild His way! It requires humility, implicit trust in the character of God, and a hunger for Him that surpasses the fear of man.

This week's developments in Florida (and in the Houston Megachurch pastored by Joel Osteen...) are plain evidence that God is desperately trying to get the Church's attention. That is why these things are happening. That is why influential ministers in the center of the worlds' eye are being exposed for what they are: human.

There is nothing different about me and Todd Bentley, or Todd Bentley and Juanita Bynum, or Juanita Bynum and Ted Haggard. We are all simply broken, imperfect, 21st century humans who just happen to be ministering to other broken, imperfect, 21st century humans. We all have a story. We all have a testimony of deliverance we want to share with others who are presently hurting the way we have hurt in the past. We have flaws. We have challenges we still need to overcome. We have bruised places inside of us that still make us flinch all these years after the fact- and we have all been called by our Heavenly Father who knew about our mess when He called us out to do something for Him! Imagine that!


When will the Christian community realize this ain't your Daddy's congregation?
The demographics of your Sunday morning crowd probably include the divorced, formerly (or presently) addicted, mentally ill,the aborter, adulterer, fornicator, homosexual, ex-convict, and yes, quite possibly even the sexual predator. Some of you cringed when you read that. Some of you are staring at the screen in utter disbelief.

I say this with all the love inside me: Get a grip.

The church is not a place where the pretty come to get prettier. It is supposed to be a refuge. Not just a refuge for the lost, but also a place where the leadership can be healed and restored. The church, for far too long, has failed to face the facts. We like to kick our wounded while they're down. It's pride-driven and fueled by the same spirit that fueled the works of the Pharisees. We like to present well. When situations like this one hit us, we either start to throw out our own judgements or decry the minister as a phony and a rebel. We do it to save face.

The fact is we live in a world where the next generation of leadership has seen, done and experienced more than the preceding two generations have. The exposure to what the church termed "worldliness" 30 years ago has increased exponentially. When our leadership has the audacity to falter and even go as far as fall flat on their faces, we need to avoid the urge to dismiss them as fakes and ungodly examples. We are all a result of our experiences and some of us have experienced a lot of tragedy, pain and trouble.

Give those of us who fall into that category some grace. Yes, judgement does begin at the house of God, but so does mercy. Have mercy on the brother, realize you don't know the whole story, and that God will do whatever it takes to preserve His relationship with any of us...including Todd Bentley...and you...and me.

He should be praised mightily for that fact alone, beloved. He never gives up, He never quits, neither should we give up and quit on our brother and sister. Cover them in prayer. Remember your Word: "LOVE NEVER QUITS!" (I Corinthians 13). It's not tolerance, it is God's way, and it is the right way.


Just my Opinion....


Jennifer Barnes

Uplift! Today Editor

Do You Give Love a Bad Name?

Is what you believe and embrace accessible to the people you're in contact with everyday?

Think about that question before you answer it.

I'm not asking you if you could effectively witness to someone and lead them to the Lord. I'm asking you if what you have in you-that reserve of peace, joy, love, stability and strength-is accessible to those around you who don't benefit from what you do. Do you make yourself accessible to them or do you avoid, run from and basically ignore their needs?

Ahhh-I have challenging words for you this week, Beloved!

Americans don't like to be bothered. It's why we have drive-thru windows at our banks and restaurants, why there are automated systems we don't talk to over the phone, and why we have voice mail. We just want to be left alone. We have, throughout history, always been a country that struggled with isolationism. As technology has advanced, our ability to dodge the unwanted has increased. We can cut ourselves off from just about anything we don't want to deal with.

However, as believers, we aren't just citizens of the USA (or wherever you may be from) we are citizens of The Kingdom of God. We are governed by a different set of principles. One of those is that we become a well for others to draw from, so they can "...taste and see that the Lord is good..." (Psalm 34:8 NIV) I've been experiencing this in my own life, and I have to tell you something: there are believers out there who are giving LOVE a bad name!

A few years ago, I sat watching a program on Christian TV. It was a singing program that featured one of those polished, pristine groups in matching suits and ties. Collectively, they had not a hair out of place. Their presentation was impeccable. They reminded me of the women from those '80s Robert Palmer videos...you know the ones where all the women looked the same...completely uniform? They moved, perfectly synchronized and smiled on cue. It was the first time I ever watched a gospel group sing that I didn't feel gladness well up in my heart! Oddly enough, I felt hopeless.

The Lord began to speak to me there and He said, "Jen, many people feel the same way when they walk into my house on Sunday morning. They feel as though they can never have themselves that together. They can never be 'picture perfect'. " I remember feeling so sad, that people who are in desperate need of direction, guidance, acceptance and love could walk in to Abba's house and NOT find any of those things there.

This thought ran through my head again last week, with the news of the Tennessee shooting at a church where 2 people were killed. I read a news blurb that stated something to the effect that the shooter had killed the very people who could have offered him help in his time of need. He had been unemployed for a long period of time and was at the end of his rope. He was desperate. Yet, he didn't find a solution for his desperation in the House of God.

Church, I believe that in a very broad sense, we are giving Love a bad name. The Apostle John said it like this, "God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us...there is no room in love for fear. Well formed love banishes fear..." (I John 4:16-18 The Message)

Are you giving Love a bad name by isolating yourself? Are you giving Love a bad name by judging and criticizing people you know next to nothing about? Are you giving Love a bad name because you are unapproachable? Are you giving Love a bad name by holding up a standard in front of the lost and dying that seems impossible for them to fulfill? How are we representing our Father by doing these things?

These are not just questions for the individual-these are questions congregations and Pastors should be asking themselves right now! I'm not talking about becoming soft on holiness and compromising ourselves. I am talking about being genuinely responsive to the needs of the lost! They are 'lost' because they don't know where they are in life, what to do with themselves, or where they're supposed to turn. They are desperately seeking answers! I see them in my minds' eye with their hands extended like beggars, "Please! Help us!" They are pleading with the Church to step in and embrace them, not dismiss them.

We, as Believers, are to be the expression of Father God's love on this earth. That is what Jesus was, and that is what HE DID! How we came to the conclusion we were exempt from that, I do not know. Even Christ told His disciples, "The hallmark of your ministry is going to be the integrity of your love!"
THAT HAS NOT CHANGED IN THE LAST 2000 YEARS! Beloved, we are letting people who need the love of God in their lives fall through the cracks because we just don't want to bother with them.

We don't want their drama. We don't want their pain. We don't want their trouble. We don't want their confusion. We don't want their addiction. We don't want their sin. If they can come without all their baggage that's fine. But we just want to be shiny, happy Believers smiling and clapping our hands, leaving the service feeling good about ourselves.

I heard a minister say once, "If you've got sheep, you've got mess." It's true. People have issues. They are messed up. They have lives that rival the bestselling fiction novels of our day. But GOD LOVES THEM. Sheep make messes. They are stinky, they are fearful, timid and constantly in need of care. They are vulnerable to attack, because they do not possess any natural defense mechanisms.

Sound like any people you know?

What are you willing to do about it?

Back to the question I opened with...is the wellspring of hope that resides in you available to the people around you? I'm giving you a heads-up. It's time to break the seal on what you've been keeping to yourself. God did not shed His abundant grace and mercy on any of us so that we could hoard it up and divvy it out as we see fit. The love of God is still to be made available to 'whosoever will'.

Beloved, there are a lot of whosoevers that need what we have. Let's stop giving Love a bad name. Let's stop expecting people to clean themselves up before they fall at our altars. Let's stop displaying our faith as something only for , "the few...the proud...the holy." None of us came to Jesus with our lives all together. We were broken, wounded and messed up-and that's what people need to know about us. That's how we share hope with them.

Tell the truth, be honest and be transparent. The harvest is approaching. Let's take it to the next level...so we can get it in before the time passes us. AMEN?

Jennifer Barnes
UPLIFT! TODAY Editor