"The One You Love"

Commitment is a nasty word in our society today. It leaves a terrible taste in the mouths of many, since many have been ruined or nearly so by commitments that have been broken. I am one of those people. I've had major commitments broken by people very close to me. When that happens, the effect multiplies itself each time the action is repeated. No wonder we live in such a cynical, skeptical world. Nobody believes anyone. Truth and honor have become rare commodities in the 21st Century.

This condition has given rise to a commitment-phobic generation. That phrase, commitment-phobe, implies an unnatural fear of binding oneself to anyone or anything. One of the root causes of such an unnatural condition is a fear of abandonment. When a commitment-phobe is faced with the proposition of engaging themselves fully into an action or relationship, they balk. The fear of being 'hung out to dry' by the person or group calling them into deeper places so terrifies them they cannot bring themselves to be pledged entirely. They can only go 'so far'.

One of two results occurs: the commitment-phobe will become unpredictable and erratic in his/her search for the unattainable "sure thing". They are constantly changing jobs, partners, churches. The alternative is that the commitment-phobe will isolate and insulate themselves from others to avoid the pain of what they consider the inevitable disappointment that comes from involving themselves in situations and relationships that can never be a "sure thing". The avoidant behavior causes them to turn in on themselves and become unstable, hypervigilant self-preservers.

Commitment-phobes create their own hells-by relegating themselves to shallow, superficial interactions with others and with LIFE! They never experience truly in-depth intimacy, which is the thing they most desperately crave!

"Why all the academic, clinical breakdown, Jennifer?"

I'm so glad you asked!

Here's how Elijah put it to the Israelites so many years ago (commitment-phobia is not a new development...)

"...How long are you going to waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow Him! But if Baal is god, follow him!" But the people were completely silent.
(I Kings 18:21 NLT)

Elijah was confronting the issue of "hokey-pokey religion". (I refer to that wonderful song that talks about putting one foot in, and one foot out...). This is right where many believers choose to dwell. They are uncommitted, uncertain, and as the Apostle James put it, "...unstable in all [their] ways..." (Jas. 1:8 NIV) The problem God has with all this is very simple: HE WANTS ALL OF YOU!

Humanity was created for intimacy, not only in relation to one another, but also with their Creator. We were not built for superficial involvement. We were created for fellowship with God, to be His people, to have His goodness poured abundantly upon us, to give Him glory, to exalt Him, and to love Him!

Within the deeply intimate relationship we are to have with our Lord, we also find we are given an individual and corporate assignment. It is an assignment that will ALWAYS exceed our natural abilities, knowledge, our frail and pitiful human rationale and reason. Our personal call will require us to depend solely on Jesus Christ and His finished work on Calvary's cross!

The reason for this is simple: we are created for communion with Him, thus we must always be kept in a state of perpetual dependence upon Him. Even Jesus Himself did nothing of Himself, except what the Father directed Him to do. He passed the same requirement to us. Remember in John 15, He told the disciples, "Apart from Me, you can do nothing." (John 15:5 NIV)

At Calvary, God completely committed Himself to humanity. He laid Himself down as a sacrifice for us that we could once again have unbroken unity with Him, just as it was before mankind fell into disobedience. Christ knew He had to "go all in" for our salvation. He was "the Lamb of God, slain from the foundation of the world..." (Rev. 13:8 KJV)

With all this in mind, why is it we expect less from ourselves in relation to Him and the Commission we've been given? (Please note: the root word of commission is commit, as in commitment).

Jesus told the people in Luke 14 that if anyone refused to "...let go of father, mother, spouse, children, brothers, sisters-yes, even one's own self!- they cannot be my disciple. Anyone who won't shoulder his own cross and follow behind me cannot be my disciple." (Lk. 14:26-27, The Message)

What was He telling them? "I must have a complete commitment from you. You must 'go all in' for me if you're going to be a part of what I do." In the margin of my Bible at this scripture I have written, "Anything worthwhile is going to cost you..."

What is the cost?

At the beginning of this post I explained that much of the unnatural fear that plagues the commitment-phobe stems from a fear of abandonment. The commitment-phobe is thoroughly convinced (through the experience of some life trauma) that he is destined to be left to his own devices, and the thought of that paralyzes him so that he cannot form healthy, vital relationships.

However, the believer cannot argue that he isn't able to fully commit himself to Christ for fear of being left to do the work of God on his own! In the scripture that is known throughout Christendom as "The Great Commission", Jesus tells us plainly, "I am with you always, even unto the end of the age..." (Matt. 28 NIV)
Does God lie? Absolutely not! If He says He is with you day-in, day-out until time stands no more, then you can believe He is with you! That is unquestionable!

So, that brings me to this conclusion: Commitment-phobic religion is not caused by a fear of God abandoning us, it comes from OUR fear of abandoning ourselves TO GOD! We fear self-abandonment!

The "hokey-pokey believer", with his one-foot-in, one-foot-out mentality, suffers only because he fears letting go of himself and abandoning his agenda, his plans, his way of doing and being! He cannot be a true disciple because his heart is divided. He holds back what he decides is important. He doesn't die to his own will. He manufactures ways of twisting HIS will into GOD'S will. He is not in possession of a completely surrendered heart.

Throughout the Bible, we see that genuine love always will require that we lay down our lives for one another. Christ is the ultimate example of this, indeed. The Apostle Paul also tells us that husbands are to lay down their lives for their wives, wives are to lay down their lives for their husbands, and believers are to lay down their lives for one another (Eph. 5:22-33). This is not Jennifer's way! This is GOD'S WAY. This is the law of His Kingdom!

Let me present this another way.

When we refuse to abandon ourselves, for fear of 'losing ourselves', to the one we claim to love, we cut off any chance for true relationship with that person. We've automatically placed a limit on how deep that relationship can grow-or better put, not grow. We stifle true intimacy!

Beloved, if you and I are going to make any definitive contribution to the Kingdom of God, we are going to have to lose ourselves to the King! We will have to set aside our own agendas and follow the King's agenda. Losing one's self to Him should not be a fearful prospect! We are seated with Him in heavenly places at the right hand of God! If we know and accept this position in Christ, then our identity is no longer in question! We are His! He is in us, and we are in Him! WE ARE ONE! We find our true self in Him!

In 2009, God is calling us to "go all in". Whatever it is He has assigned to you, you must fully commit yourself to. If you can't go there, then you need to step aside. Someone else will go there. It is, however, my sincere prayer that you will stop playing "hokey-pokey" and immerse yourself in God's will for you.

Beloved, there is no plan, no idea, scheme or scenario you can dream up for yourself that can compare to what God has in store for you! (Jer. 29:11, I Cor. 2:9). The one thing that you must do is completely commit yourself to Him, and He will do the work through you!

He is calling us to come up higher and join Him in an intimate and exciting adventure! Don't miss the opportunity He is offering you, Beloved! GO ALL IN!
This is our commission for 2009. Let us embrace it, willingly.

In Christ Alone,

Jennifer Barnes
UPLIFT! Editor